There seems to be some confusion as to why it’s important to forgive someone of something they did that hurt you so very badly.
How do you know what needs to be forgiven? Ever talk to someone about an issue and it just seems to trigger in you a very strong emotion? An issue that seems to be repeating for you, and each time it just makes you experience those emotions all over again? These are the kind of things that need to be forgiven.
First of all, forgiveness is for you; not for them. It’s like carrying a ton of bricks in a backpack that doesn’t need to be with you any more. It’s about letting all that go. Leaving it behind and letting it heal you.
Secondly it helps you to move on and not hold onto the past and things that were done that need to be transcended and transmuted.
It’s about your heart and how it feels, and allowing you to take back your power and letting those negative issues to rest. In essence; helping to remove some of that weight from your shoulders.
Again, this is not for the person or event that causes this kind of response in you. It’s for YOUR healing. I’m a firm believer in that “we do not wrestle with flesh and blood; but with principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Eph 6:12
Recognizing the need is a very big step in regaining your power. When you do the forgiveness it’s cleansing away the emotions and on a more spiritual context it will be transcended and transmuted. Many times it is releasing things that trigger you in layers. Start with the ones that seem to be brought to your immediate mind; the ones that maybe repeatedly coming up. The more you walk through this process the easier it will be to do the work on the issues that come to you gradually.
I think of forgiveness as a four step process. The biggest aspect is you releasing the negativity that has held you back and letting go of the emotions that surround that particular pain or frustration that is brought up to you to have it healed.
The first thing I tell people is to think about the person and or the event; then without the need of contacting that person think of the emotions around the memory. It could be a myriad of emotions. Here’s a small list to kind of get you thinking. But all emotions that come to mind is what you need to be aware of.
Anger, hate, pain, sorrow, fear, abandonment, rage, hurt, broken heart, contempt, disgust, guilt, nervousness, and anxiety; to just name some of the ones that could be experienced when discussing an event that needs letting go of. This list is not definitive and you may have some emotions that are not listed here; that’s okay too. Bring those feeling forward to address and release.
If it helps, write whatever emotions you experience down on a small piece of paper. It may help to put initials or name of the person or the event on the small sheet of paper too.
Next, and very importantly; you need to ask to receive.
Ask the person or event to forgive you, even if you don’t feel like they deserve it. Doing this releases them from you and you from them. Again, this is not something you need to ask them in person. Works even if the person has passed away.
Then ask them to forgive you. When I do this, even if I feel I didn’t do anything to deserve this thing from happening to me; I need to remind myself that it’s releasing me from them. Removes all karma and can heal your time line.
Ask your given deity to forgive you. It doesn’t matter if this is God, Jesus, Buddha, Source, universe, or the spirit of light, etc. Whomever you feel is the source of the truth that you seek. This could also be your inner self.
The last one is for you to forgive yourself. Yep, haven’t you held onto this long enough? Even if it’s just something a day ago or years and maybe a life time; just asking yourself to forgive you helps to let it go. If it helps; imagine a back pack full of weights and you set it down and walk away from it.
If this act of forgiveness brings up the emotion to cry, that’s okay. Feel what you need to feel. Cry if you have to, scream if that helps; just letting the emotions out is very cleansing. Will this happen every time you follow these steps; maybe or maybe not. That is your journey. Just know that if you do feel this way, it’s okay.
Some people feel better when being guided or coached with this process. If you would like assistance it’s something I can help you with. Please email me with your request and I’ll be glad to help you. There will be a slight fee for this service and I will keep it as affordable as possible to be able to help as many people as possible work through this process.
Love and Light!